DVA9117
Captain, B737-800
Joined on October 13 2010
50 State Club
Globetrotter
DVA Ten-Year Anniversary
Everett 250 Club
Commuter Conquest
US Mountaineer Club
US Coastal Club
Nine Century Club
New Bern, NC
943 legs, 2,506.6 hours
943 legs,
2,506.6 hours ACARS
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Posted onPost created on
December 24 2010 16:09 ET by Jim Atkins
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THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
(At the airport)
Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tie downs with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.
The fire trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the watch desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.
When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.
He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick".
I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.
He called his position, no room for denial,
"St. Nicholas One, turnin' left onto final."
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!
With vectors to final, down the glide slope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On Cupid!" What pills was he takin'?
The controllers were sittin', and scratchin' their head,
They phoned my office, and I heard it with dread,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
"When Santa pulls in, please have him call the tower."
He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard "Left at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking."
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh
And stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho, ho."
He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I responded with Crash One, the fire truck that can rock.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost
And his beard was all brown from Reindeer exhaust.
His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on his pipe, but he didn't inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly;
His boots were as black as a crop duster's belly.
He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked where to fill it, with hundred low lead.
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump;
I knew he was anxious for drainin' the sump.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
Fire-guarding the sleigh, like an eager young Turk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.
And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset and I heard him yell, "Clear!"
And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
"Use runway 30 for a northbound direction,
Depart heading three-six-zero at pilot's discretion"
He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
"Your traffic's a Cessna, inbound from the west."
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,
"Merry Christmas to all and I have traffic in sight"
Jim AtkinsCaptain, B737-800
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DVA8622
First Officer, B777-200
Joined on April 14 2010
Century Club
"We're off, like a heard of turtles."
Commack, NY USA
189 legs, 783.0 hours
182 legs,
751.4 hours ACARS
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Posted onPost created on
December 24 2010 16:11 ET by Ethan Olshever
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DVA5834
First Officer, B737-800
Joined on April 18 2008
"Minimums"
Tarrytown, NY USA
16 legs, 35.5 hours
9 legs,
22.1 hours ACARS
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Posted onPost created on
December 24 2010 18:10 ET by Benjy Povman
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You stole my idea!!!
But very funny!
My version:
'Twas the night before Christmas and in the cockpit
(the part of the plane where both pilots sit)
The FMC was programmed by the throttles with care
in the hope that a STAR soon would be there
It was a 76' (not a '330)
And inside the cabin it was quite dirty
'cause it was a longhaul and a red-eye
and they were over Chicago when the captain spied
A small little dot on the EHSI
Clearly a plane. and the captain said "why"
ATC's told us there's none in our path
So, he took it as a joke and let out a laugh
He contacted Chicago (the center controller)
And advised them to give their screen a look-over
The controller looked at his radar machine
and said "there's also a blip on our screen!"
Then on the frequency (132.4)
A voice came on, clearly from up north
He asked for clearance to someplace far
But the controller said "sorry, we're IFR"
"Don't worry" he said, "Don't worry a bit"
"Don't deny clearance, don't throw a fit
With Rudolf in front, we'll be able to see
and we are certified for landing CAT III"
By now, the dot was getting much closer
I asked for a climb, but the captain said "No sir"
"Call me crazy, but I have a feeling
that this guy is good, and also we're at our ceiling"
Now the white dot turned yellow, and the TCAS shouted
But the captain and I did nothing about it
We sat and watched, we watched and waited
If we were crazy or not we debated
The dot turned red and TCAS said decend
We just hoped that the warning would end
We finally saw him, and we had much cause
to beleive that that guy was Santa Claus!
With nine reindeer pulling his sleigh
(He needed Rudolf, it was stormy that day)
and a big bag of presents, all of them toys
to give to the good girls and boys
He flew up to the door and said with a smile
"Can you open this up, I'll be here for a while"
The F/A opened the left front door up,
and I knew it was safe because no warning came up
He took some presents out of his bag
(He seemed very tired because of jet lag)
He went straight to seat 31B
and gave a present to little Suzie
He then went over to little Roy
and handed him a brand new toy
I then learned something quite nifty
Christmas still happens at FL350!
After having some cookies that came from the galley
he gave one last gift to little Sally
He then left, but first drank milk in a cup
called to his reindeer and went up, up, up
ATC went quiet, TCAS shut up
and all he left was the presents and the cup
and as he took off on his worldwide flight, he said
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight"
Benjy PovmanFirst Officer, B737-800
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DVA5929
Senior Captain, B747-400
OLP
Joined on May 10 2008
Million Mile Club
Online Quadruple Century Club
Everett 500 Club
Globetrotter
Six Century Club
50 State Club
DVA Ten-Year Anniversary
"It's buried under a big W!"
TX USA
651 legs, 3,806.1 hours
472 legs,
2,922.9 hours online
565 legs,
3,319.5 hours ACARS
8 legs,
18.9 hours event
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Posted onPost created on
December 24 2010 19:56 ET by Nicholas Carpenter
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